I was thinking today about why it is that the government interferes in the lives of parents to such a degree. Obnoxious does not begin to cover it. Why is it that if I were to choose to move out into the woods to a small cabin with no electricity and no running water, ala Walden... that would likely be considered neglect. If I make a lifestyle choice to raise my children in the middle of nowhere, with no running water, hauling water from the creek, and no septic, using an outhouse instead, and no electricity, using candles when needed... and I do all of this by a conscious choice, it is neglectful. I am neglecting to turn my children into conformists, this is true. I am neglecting their indoctrination and I have certainly neglected to give them phobias about their bodies or to instill fear of authority figures. But I do all of this already and I do it by choice.
But why should the government, any government, have the right to make lifestyle choices for us? Lets follow this idea through... let us say I did do such a thing and I did get investigated and perhaps they even took it oo far and removed my children from my home for this choice... I could fight, would fight, and I would win. I mean lets be honest, the Amish have done this for years. But why should we even have to go through the worry, the mess, the heartache of the fight in the first place? When are we as a nation going to admit that the system we have in place for protecting children is not working?
I fully acknowledge that we need to have something in place to protect and defend the children that are abused, beaten, neglected, or malnourished. But somewhere along the line we went overboard. I am sure we have all heard the horror stories about these agencies but somehow the horror stories are not enough to get us to tear the system to bits and rebuild it. The system does not work. Even the people who work there acknoeledge that usually. But we keep it in place for lack of a better way.
There are, right now, thousands of children in this country who are in fact being abused and neglected. But they won't get the help they need because the workers we do have are overburdened by the current system that puts familes that are different or even families who fit the norm at risk. I once read a story about a family whose little girl, I think she was three or four, ran outside naked one day, onto her lawn, and the school bus driver that was driving by at the time reported the family and they lost their little girl for a while because she ran outside naked. Are we really such prudes? Why do we even allow our governement to have such invasive rights into our lives? My children are MY children. They do not belong to the government, they belong to themselves and for right now I take responsibility for them until they are capable of taking the full investment of that responsibility onto themselves. I am their proxy for right now but they belng to themselves. My government does not own that which has ocme from my body.
And yet we give them that right. In the interest of protecting other children who are abused, we have said that the government has the right to invade our homes and our lives on the off chance that we might be one of those abusers. Why do we give our own power away like this? And then, once they are in our lives, we allow them to tell us everything we are doing wrong and how we need to do things differently in the raising of our children. What gives them that right? We do. We say that this is okay and we let them into our homes and then we make the largest fault of all... we slip away from any shred of confidence we might have had and we BELIEVE them when they say that we need to think like they do. We examine our thinking and try to figure out where we went wrong.
What makes these people more qualified than the parent? What logic says that these people who do not know you, your kids, your situation, or anything about you that makes you anything more than a statistic somehow knows more than you do? They have a job to do, an admittedly crappy one most of the time, but they are employed in a position that pays their bills. Thats it. Nothing more, nothing less. And that does not give them the right to force anyone to conform to their way of thought about how children need to be raised. Every child is different, and every child deserves to be something more than a statistic or a number in some case file. No child and no family should have to give up their right to individuality based on what "the norm" says they should be, think, feel, or do.
No, I am not being investigated by child protection, no, there is no real reason for this to be a pet peeve of mine save for this...
I was considering last night, just how far do we want to go with our lifesyle choices. See, we want to homestead, all great and wonderful, but i might enjoy giving Walden a shot for a while. No electricity, living with what you have, bare minimalist type of lifestyle. Would I want to stay with it? I don't know until I try it do I... but I think trying it would be a wonderul lesson in self-sufficiency and other things. Thoreau is someone I have long admired, and I wouldn't mind that little experiment in my own life. By choice.
But then it occured to me, because I know someone who just went through hell with child protection and her son and all of it was for nothing and they had no case but that didn't matter to them they barged into her life anyway and made a mess and now they are trying to pull their lives back together because these agencies think they know better than a parent about what to do for children... how's that for a run on sentence? ;) Anyway I was htinking about Walden and do I want to try this out in my life and would it be a good thing for my kids because you know, frankly I think it would be. I think that learning to live succinctly and learning to live in a way that has minimal impact but is really a lot of work would be healthy for everyone here. But then it occured ot me that these agencies might find that offensive to their sensiilities and they might step in because I didn't have running water and hauled it from a creek or because we didn't have electricity... anyway you get the idea. And that offended ME.
But no one cares if I am offended right? But we do have to be careful not to offend the almighty THEM because THEY have the power to make your life a living hell. But in this, that I even had to think about it, that it even occured ot me was offensive. That I would even have to consider the idea that THEY might step in in this situation was abominable to me. The mere thought made me cringe, both at myself and at the system as a whole.
So will I do it? Maybe, just maybe I might. Truthfully, the Amish do it, so I do have some leeway correct? Or at least in my way of thinking I do. And I really do not feel that any agency has the right to tell me that I have to conform to their way of thinking or ELSE. I feel that lifestyle choices are just that. And if someone can prove to me how hauling a bit of water and peeing in an outhouse is somehow neglecting my kids, then I will be happy to hear them out. But all I can truly see is that it will have untold benefits to everyone.
I am offended that I even have to contemplate the "might happens" in this kind of a situation. In reality, no one knows anymore about raising my kids than I do. They have theories, or suggestions, or ideas about right and wrong and moreal and immoral but in the end everyone is just guessing and going off of instinct anyway. They may have a degree which teaches them how to guess a little better or even a book out which makes people think they are really good guessers because the publisher said so. But we are all of us just operating off of instinct and love. I love my children, therefore I treat them with kindness and respect at all times. I want my children to grow up and have confidence and to be able to take care of themselve sin this world so I educate them on the world around us. I do not like to be hit and so I do not hit my children. This is common sense, every religion on the planet has some form of "the golden rule" in place. But when it comes down to it, no matter who these people are, regardless of a degree, regardless of their employer, everyone of us is GUESSING. We might acknowledge this about ourselves but we find it hard to figure out about other poeple. We spend so much time and effort trying to convince everyone else that we are doing something more than guessing when in reality all of that time could be better spent elsewhere. We might use tools, like studies or literature, or books, or colleges, or perr reviews... but guess what? They are all guessing too! The difference is that they all agree to tell everyone else that they are all right! And we wonder why our kids grow up with distorted viewpoints? We are one wacky species.
And truly the sooner we grasp this concept, that they are not better than we are and they are guessing too, the better off we will all be. And maybe, just maybe, so too will the children.
